


Simple Song

by ReasonablyFirmEggs



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: F/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 11:59:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14715632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReasonablyFirmEggs/pseuds/ReasonablyFirmEggs
Summary: I made a fumblin' play your for heart, and the act struck a spark.





	Simple Song

**Author's Note:**

> First serious attempt at a fic and it's a songfic. I can't even bring myself to read most songfics, and here I am writing one. I'm such a filthy hypocrite.  
> Evangelion is owned by Gainax and Simple Song is by The Shins. Give it a listen.

_Well, this is just a simple song,_  
_To say what you done_

Shinji Ikari.

A roommate, a pilot and a pervert. Yet who was this... child that lived, cleaned and cooked for Asuka? What was the status of their relationship?

Asuka was a child prodigy, though she rarely acted like one, and she had graduated college at the age of twelve. Yet neither her genius status nor college degree did anything to help her understand who Shinji was to her. A potential love interest? A friend? A rival? A baka? Definitely the last one without a doubt, but it was the first of the four that scared her.

 _I told you 'bout all those fears,_  
_And away they did run_

A conversation on one's insecurities and fears is not the average talking point between two pubescent teenagers, but one that came up, nonetheless, with Asuka's constant pestering.

"Hey Shinji."

Shinji grunted in response.

"What are you afraid of?"

"What?" Her question caught Shinji off guard. It was rather different from the regular teasing and lead-ins to cruel barbs.

"What are you, stupid? I asked what you are afraid of."

Seeing no way that Asuka could turn this into another excuse to physically abuse him, Shinji decided that it was safe to answer. Unfortunately for him, Asuka's intentions were less than pure. Her want for the knowledge of his fears stemmed from a desire to prank him. Arachnophobia? Dump a box of spiders on him while he slept. Acrophobia? Hang him form the tallest building she could find. Fortunately for Shinji, his answer made her feel guilty instead of giving her ideas for ethically questionable pranks.

"I'm afraid of the pain of being left behind. Of being hated." Why was Shinji revealing this extremely personal and private information is beyond anyone's guess, including the author's. Perhaps he trusted Asuka a little too much. "I'm afraid that I'm going to be useless and unwanted. Have you ever felt abandoned by someone you love? I'm afraid of not being good enough and left behind because of it."

Asuka was silent for a moment. How was someone supposed to respond to that?

No longer wanting to play a prank on him, perhaps seeing few a disturbing parallels between him and her, yet also unwilling to allow herself to feel sorry for him, Asuka settled on belittling his insecurities.

"The Invincible Shinji is scared of a little hate? Grow some balls. And don't worry, I don't hate you. That much."

 _You sure must be strong,_  
_And you feel like an ocean being warmed by the sun_

"Asuka, please."

"What's the matter? The Invincible Shinji got his feelings hurt?"

"Please stop calling me that Asuka."

"But why? Aren't you supposed to be the best Eva pilot? Best sync rate, most angel kills, most loved by everyone else. If you're not the best, who is?"

"It's not a competition Asuka!"

"Life's a competition Shinji. People compete with others for food, for mates, for survival, so if you really think that, then you need to man up."

"Can we please stop talking about this Asuka? I'm not the best pilot, okay?"

"Exactly! You admit that you are not the best pilot which means I'm the best Eva pilot! You finally admit it Shinji. I'm really proud of you, it takes balls to show humility."

Sighing and throwing up his hands in exasperation, Shinji left the room and made his way to his room. Frustrated from the conversation and his constant, grating interactions with Asuka, he laid upon his bed and slipped away from reality. He dreamed, vivid and clear.

 _When I was just nine years old,_  
_I swear that I dreamt,_  
_Your face on a football field,_  
_And a kiss that I kept,_  
_Under my vest_  
_Apart from everything,_  
_But the heart in my chest_

Shinji was a child once more, playing tag with Asuka on a football field. Their mother's stood at the sidelines and watched. Asuka's mother was faceless and red-haired, like Asuka herself, whilst his mother... she was a beacon of light, soft, warm, glowing light. Looking upon her filled Shinji with an indescribable feeling of warmth and love and affection and approval and everything he was missing.

"Look at me when we play tag baka!" Even in dream and several years younger, she remained unchanged. Not that he minded, mind you. Constant, playful verbal abuse was what he had come to associate with Asuka and anything else would have made her... not Asuka.

She was beautiful. He dreamed her beauty in that moment. Oh yes, she was already beautiful, but that was the surface image, what everyone sees at a single glance; visually appealing facial features. He dreamed her true beauty, all the little details only a lover would see. The twinkle in her eyes as she prepared to berate him, the rosy tint on her cheek from the crisp wind, all the little things that make up true beauty.

Perhaps he hesitated too long, or maybe Asuka simply wanted to mess with him, but she ran in small, nimble steps and was suddenly in his face. She asked him in a teasing, sweet tone, "Hentai baka, you're staring at me aren't you?"

Tongue tied by her presence, her beauty, her very existence, he could only stand there and stare with a deer-in-the-headlights type of look.

She stuck her tongue out at him and said in a mock-offended tone, "At least tell me I'm pretty."

He finally unraveled enough of his tongue to squeak out, "You're the most beautiful girl in the world."

She smiled at him and appeared to hesitate for a fraction of a millisecond and leaned in. This startled him and he would have pulled back if not for being mesmerized by her presence. When his brain regained enough function to fully process her proximity, she put a quick, small, soft kiss on his lips. It was the pure and simple kiss of a child, from an innocent heart who gave love freely and unconditionally.

It was an explosion of feelings, in the way that a painter who throws his entire pallet onto a blank canvas watches the colors bloom as they splash into life. He felt warmth again, and love, but it wasn't the same kind of love he felt from his mother. He felt as if he were floating, disconnected with reality, awash with the memory of the kiss.

Distantly he could hear their mothers laughing and Asuka already running away, like a fleeting light. He stood there entranced, letting the feeling of the kiss, however brief, wash over his body. He could have stood there forever till rock turned to dust and earth to ash, but Asuka snapped him back to reality. She called into the wind, "Hey baka, if you catch me I'll give you another kiss!"

And he took off, feet kicking up grass, running faster than he had ever before and-

"BAKA SHINJI WAKE UP AND MAKE ME BREAKFAST!"

Back to the waking world. The average dreamer may have felt a variety of synonyms relating to anger to have ended such a dream, yet Shinji felt elation. A smile took up residence upon his face, and with the memory of the dream and its kiss in his chest, he made his way to the kitchen to begin preparing breakfast.

...

The baka was smiling! Asuka thought for sure that he'd wake up depressed and wimpy from last night's conversation, but here he was, beaming, like he'd won his father's approval or something.

His smile... made her feel happy. She wasn't really sure why, since she didn't care about the weak, spineless baka, yet, she wanted to smile back. She wanted to feel the same happiness he was experiencing, maybe even share it.

Then the Second Child realized something. These feelings, these thoughts, they were symptoms of attraction and, this, her pride would not stand for. She would not fall head over heels for a weak, spineless baka that was also an inferior pilot and wasn't even a real man.

With a small part of her protesting, she pushed down the feelings of happiness and set out to ruin his mood. In the most disdainful tone she could muster, she asked, "Why so happy baka?"

The idiot continued to smile and said only, "I had a good dream."

And he refused to say anything other than that.

 _I know that things can really get rough,_  
_When you go in alone_  
_Don't go in thinking you gotta be tough,_  
_To bleed like a stone_

Stupid Wondergirl. She was obviously the better pilot, so why should she wait behind the doll? She'd show them. She'd show them all, Shinji, Misato, everyone at Nerv. She's the elite pilot. Not Shinji, not Wondergirl, no one but her. She's the best. And she'll prove it to them.

With the 15th angel looming in the sky, she raised her positron rifle and prepared to fire.

 _Could be there's nothing else in our lives so critical,_  
_As this little home_

Oh God. She wanted to crawl in a hole and die. The angel... Her mind...

Everything was so cold. Why was it so cold? The skies were lifeless and devoid of color. Everything seemed to have dulled, like a monochrome lens had been inserted into her eyes. There was a constant disconnect with reality, like the whole world had been zoomed out.

Lightheadedness assaulted her when she attempted to stand, and sleep... Sleep held no escape. Nightmares plagued her every night. Mama... The doll... The room...

A lone figure swinging from a light fixture. A single light illuminating the darkened room, her mother's face, bloated and blue. The appearance of another figure. The doll. The Doll. THE DOLL.

_GODDAMM FUCKING DOLL. DAMN YOU. DIE, DIE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT. DIE DIE Die Die die die  
_

And then she'd wake, heart racing, sweating and filled with hate.

Tonight was different though, there were no nightmares. In their place came sprang up a dream of the past. It was sometime between the 8th and 12th angels, before everything started falling apart. A better time, when things were simpler then.

In her dream she saw a typical scene of the past. She was lounging in the living room with Shinji, watching TV. She'd say something to tease Shinji, turn it into an excuse to hit him, then laugh. Eventually he'd give a small smile at the sound of her laughter, even if it were at his own expense and her own heart would flutter. Then she would internally admonish herself for feeling that way and make up for it by hitting Shinji again. Things were happier then.

Those times were gone. They'd never return. Not when no one had any use for her anymore. What good is a pilot who cannot pilot? They'd make her leave Japan and return to Germany, where she had nothing. Nothing to do, no one to see and no future to look forward to. A lonely mansion with silent halls and an uncaring father. She might as well just join Mama.

 _M_ _y life in an upturned boat,_  
_Marooned on a cliff_  
_You brought me a great big flood,_  
_And you gave me a lift_  
_Girl, what a gift_

The apartment was cold. Shinji got up checked the thermostat in his room. The temperature had not changed. So why was it so cold? He felt lonely all of a sudden. The apartment was quiet, too quiet. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

Then he heard Asuka get up and leave her room. He heard her faint steps on the floor. They grew nearer and louder until he could hear her outside his room.

Ever so softly, she slid open the door to his room. What was she doing? He feigned sleep to avoid upsetting her. She stood there for a little while, and for a moment, there was nothing but the sound of his own breathing. She slid the door closed again. He could hear her footsteps, already quiet, fading away. Then he heard the apartment door open. Where was she going? Where could she go? Where _would_ she go?

Shinji decided to follow her just to be safe.

.

The cliff sat overlooking the city. She could see the lights and the bustle of the nightlife. It was so vibrant, full of life, unlike her. She looked down at the rocks that would become her sepulcher. A steep drop, the exact distance didn't matter. It'd kill her regardless. A relatively painless way to go. She closed her eyes and let her life flash before her eyes, all the times, good and bad, though it was mostly bad.

"Asuka! Don't!"

Shinji. Of course he'd show up. Always having to play the hero, here to save the helpless maiden. A part of her resented him for that. Why did he always have to try to help others? Another part of her was happy. Happy that he cared enough about her to try to stop her. At least she hoped he cared.

"Asuka please!"

"..."

He grabbed her arm attempted to draw her back. She twisted and pulled away.

"Let me jump Shinji. I'm worthless now. I can't even pilot anymore."

"That's not true! There are other thing in life! Piloting isn't everything!"

"It was everything to me and now it's gone. What's left for me now? No one wants a useless pilot. No one cares about a useless pilot."

"Don't say that! People care about you! You're not worthless, you're the great Asuka Langley Soryhu! Pilot of Unit-2! You can do anything you want because you're the Second Child!"

 _And you tell me with your tongue,_  
_And your breath was in my lungs,_  
_And we float up through the rift_

"Shut up! Second Child this, Second Child that. That's all I am! Without Eva I have nothing! Nobody would care about me!"

"People care about you Asuka! There's Misato, and Kaji, and-"

"Misato only care because I'm a pilot! And Kaji! Kaji doesn't want me."

"Asuka I- I care about you."

"Why?"

"Because you're my friend."

"You're just saying that because you have to. You don't even mean it. All I am to you is just a pretty face, a trophy to be conquered then discarded, isn't that right?"

"No no no it's not like that!"

"Then what is it like?"

"Asuka, please. I'm your friend!"

"And Wondergirl isn't just a doll. Sure."

"She's not a doll!"

"Yeah, sure, defend her because she's your personal blow-up doll."

"I don't think of her like that! She's like a sister to me!"

"Oh I see, you're into that kind of stuff, aren't you?"

"No! I would never think of her like that!"

"Then who would you think of like that then, huh?"

_"You"_

"What?"

"I said... you."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means... I love you.

There was total silence for a moment. The literal crickets in the background could be heard chirping. When Asuka finally responded, her eyes were downcast and her words were mumbled.

"I'm tired Shinji. I just want everything to be over. But I won't jump. Happy now?"

Relief flooded his veins.

"Let's go home Asuka. I'll make you pancakes tomorrow morning, ok?"

"Yeah sure, whatever."

...

Moonlight bathed the land in its silvery light. Crickets cried out into the night, searching for a mate, and on a mountain road, overlooking a fortress city, two children walked home. As if the crickets could tell, they cried out in jealousy, envious of the two whom had already found each other, even if they didn't realize it yet.

 _I know that things can really get rough_  
_When you go in alone,_  
_Don't go in thinking you gotta be tough,_  
_To bleed like a stone_

The fearsome visage of Unit-2 loomed in front of her. Butterflies metaphorically staged an airshow in her stomach. This was perhaps her last chance. If she couldn't succeed, there would really be nothing left.

Except for Shinji, a traitorous part of her heart whispered.

She quickly shoved the thought aside, being distracted might negatively affect her syncing.

The thought however, refused to be swept under the rug so easily. The harder she tried to silence it, the more it cried out. Resigning herself to a head full of Shinji, Asuka climbed into the cockpit and let herself be submerged in the LCL.

The LCL was colder than she remembered. Dr. Ritsuko spouted some technical gibberish which she had long since tuned out. Her current thoughts focused on the temperature of the LCL. Wasn't it supposed to be warm? Why did she feel so cold?

_Shinji never made her feel cold._

Wait. Where did that come from? She mentally groaned. Just as she had forgotten about him, he resurfaced in her head.

_Shinji made her feel warm. But not down there. In her heart. Get your mind out of the gutter._

No, no, no, she cried to her mind. I'm supposed to be focused on the test!

"Asuka you've done it! You have successfully passed the threshold for synchronization!"

Wait what? All thoughts were shoved to the sidelines, this was important.

"Wait, now it's dropping."

Then it hit rock bottom.

"Whatever you were just doing, try to replicate that."

She spent the rest of the next few hours trying to raise her sync ration, but nothing happened. Still, the session wasn't a complete failure. She had reached the necessary sync ratio, if only briefly, and that would mean that she could improve and return to her old status as the best pilot.

The one thing that bothered her though, was a sense that she was missing something. When her sync ratio had spiked she was thinking about something. Try as she might now, she just couldn't recall what it was. The only thing that happened during her recall sessions, was the emergence of a nice, warm feeling in her chest. It was a rather nice feeling, she decided, and spent the rest of the day, and some of the night, trying to recall her thoughts just to reproduce the warmth in her chest.

 _Could be there's nothing else in our lives so critical_  
_As this little home!_

The apartment was silent. Apart from Misato's drunken snores or rambles, there was no sound from the apartment that could indicate the existence of any inhabitants.

The silence, Shinji reflected, elicited a feeling of emptiness from within him. He'd grown too used to the everyday sounds of Asuka, her laughter, her teasing, hell, even the sound of her screaming at him. At least that had given him a feeling of life within the apartment.

The sound of silence permeated through the air. It repressed his emotions, leaving him with utter nothingness. The sounds of laughter that had once rang through the apartment had disappeared, existing only in echoes of the past. Those days of the long gone had been the happiest of his life, he reflected. It was first time in his life that he felt such a sense of belonging, of family, and even of love at times. Misato as an older sister, Asuka as a friend. Where had those times gone? What had changed between him and Asuka?

Asuka. She was so sad. She would hide it under a veneer of anger, a futile rage against the machine that only served to infuriate her more, but he could see sadness slipping through the cracks. Soft sobs in the dead of night, a cliff overlooking the city, where he'd confessed.

_I love you._

Had he meant it? Did he even know it was love? Why had he even said that? It just sort of... slipped out. Shinji couldn't deny that he harbored romantic notions involving Asuka, but did they reach that deep? He felt that it was at least more than a simple, passing crush, yet hesitated to call it love. But he knew he cared for her, at least on a basic level. Was it simply just infatuation? A silly fancy that he could fantasize, but never truly act upon?

Well... he had acted upon it in a way. He'd told her how he felt. What now?

At least she reacted better than expected, Shinji lamented, she didn't hit him or yell at him or anything, but that was the problem. It'd been a few days now and she had yet to do anything about his impromptu confession. On one hand he was glad she didn't yell or hit him, but on the other he was worried. It wasn't like Asuka to ignore declarations of love. Even if it were from a classmate she didn't know, she'd still go out of her way to decline and humiliate the declarer.

Perhaps he should check on her, just be sure she was fine.

 _Well this'll be a simple song  
_ _To say what you've done_

_I love you._

What did that even mean? What even was love? Asuka didn't know and she was sure as hell that Shinji didn't have a better grasp on the concept than she did. How would he know it was love, not hormone-induced lust? How could he know love when he had never personally experienced it? How would she even know love? Love is a concept, a metaphysical, emotional response to a series of biological impulses. The definition written on ink and paper could never capture the true emotions, only seek to poorly emulate.

Asuka's mind attempted to rationalize his words, putting meaning into the subjective, solidify ideas in the mind. A small part of her heart simply longed for his love.

_Had she not felt a certain level of attraction towards him? And he had shown reciprocation. Perhaps there was hope for love.  
_

**No. The attraction she felt was due to her hormones and his close proximity and constant interactions with her. His confession was meaningless, he was too young to understand love. He said those words out of lust, and nothing more.**

_Was it really hormones? Who could tell? Even if it were naught but hormones, lust may change to love given time. Love may not have a single definition, but it is a concept, and the definition of concepts vary subjectively from person to person. She may not know what love is, but with Shinji she could learn. And if it really is love... that might not be such a bad thing. She hadn't been loved since..._

**Since...**

_A very long time. She hadn't been loved in a very long time._

The subconscious part of her mind continued to block out the trauma from her Mama, and her heart did not protest because her mother was a very touchy subject emotionally.

_Still... to be loved again..._

_I told you about all those fears_  
_And away they did run_

A tentative knock came from the other side of the door.

"What," said Asuka, in a tone that indicated it was more of a command then a question.

"Can I come in Asuka?" came Shinji's timid reply.

"Yeah, fine. Whatever."

Shinji quietly and shut the door behind, meek as a mouse. Asuka lay on her bed, reading a magazine.

"Well? You're in here. What do you want?"

Shinji seemed to hesitate before mustering the resolve to respond, "Are you okay Asuka?"

"I'm fine."

"Are- are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure," she replied with an annoyed tone, "Do I look like there's something wrong?"

"Well, um, you've been really quiet lately."

She got off the bed suddenly and took heavy, deliberate steps, putting herself in Shinji's face.

"Are you insinuating something Shinji?"

"What? No!"

"Oh, I see what this is. You think I'm crazy don't you? You think there must be something wrong with me, a screw loose in the head, isn't that right?"

"No!"

"Well I'll tell you what's wrong with me. Then you'll get me sent to a mental asylum won't you? The one where they take broken little girls, broken little _dolls_ and fix them, so you can have your perfect little doll."

"Asuka, please-"

"Why don't I start with my mother? She went mad, like me. Then she took my doll and called it her daughter. That stupid little lifeless doll. I'd stand there and watch. She'd say 'Ignore that girl over there, Asuka,' and I'd cry, 'I'm right here Mama!' But she'd go on ignoring me. Oh, I see that look on your face. That look when you want to crawl into a corner and cry. Too bad. You're staying here and you're going to listen to all of it, because you asked for it and I'm so generous for pouring out all my past childhood trauma to you."

"I-"

"Don't interrupt! Now where was I? Oh yes, after the doll. That stupid fucking doll. My father wasn't much comfort. I heard him fucking a nurse right next to Mama's hospital room. I guess that's one more thing we have in common, shitty fathers. I spent my entire childhood, what little of it was left, anyways, trying to convince Mama I was her daughter, not that stupid doll."

Shinji felt sick.

"Then one day, I was chosen to pilot Unit-2. Can you imagine how happy that made me? Maybe then I'd finally get Mama to acknowledge that I was her daughter. I ran into her room, full of naive hope that she'd recognize me as her daughter, that she'd be proud of me, that she'd want me. You know what I found? I found her hanging from a light fixture. And, to scorn me even more she'd hung the doll too. She left a message on it. 'I love you Asuka,' it said. 'Die with me,' it said. And that was the end of my childhood."

 _You sure must be strong_  
_And you feel like an ocean b_ _eing warmed by the sun_

"And then look at you, your mother might be dead, but did she leave herself hanging for you to find? You even have something to remember her by. Aren't you so lucky, Mr. I'm-So-Good-At-Piloting-Without-Even-Trying. 'Piloting isn't everything' you say. Well it is to _me_! Isn't it so great that you have other reasons to live? I don't even have those!

And your confession the other night. How do you know you love me?! Why would you love me?! I've done nothing but hurt you and yell at you! You don't love me! You can't love me! You just want me for my body! It was lust that spoke your words, not love.

So just leave me alone. You're just going to end up leaving me if you try."

Breathing heavily from her rant, Asuka sat down onto her bed.

"I'm done shouting. Why don't you run away like you always do?"

Running. Running solved nothing, yet it was the one thing Shinji had always done. It hurt him, to hear how cowardly Asuka thought him to be, but it was also true. Things couldn't stay this way, Shinji realized, if he wanted to fix his problems he'd have to stand his ground and meet them head, like they were angels. _I mustn't run away._

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"No. I'm not running anymore. I'm done running."

Asuka stared at him incredulously. Where had the spine sprung up from?

"And I'm done with having you in my room. Get out!"

And as suddenly as it had sprung up, it vanished.

"Sorry!" He yelped, like a freshly kicked puppy.

Ducking his head as if he expected her to throw something, he scurried out of her room. In a way, it reminded her of the better days.

 _Remember walking a mile to your house,_  
_A glow in the dark_

The path seemed to never end. Asuka walked for miles and miles, looking toward Misato's apartment, trying to leave the darkness and reach the comforting light emanating from home. This dream, not yet a nightmare, though she felt cold regardless, filled her with a sense of hopelessness. A destination in the distance that she could see, but never reach.

She was so close to giving in to despair and collapsing when the light appeared. An end to the darkness, a promise to warmth. A beacon of hope in the sea of despair. A lighthouse standing out at sea, guiding ships to the Port of Morrow.

It filled her with determination.

Onward she strode, with new resolve to reach the light. With every step the light grew brighter and nearer, when finally, she reached it.

She was surprised to see that the light was not emitted by any conventional means, rather it came from a person. And this person was Shinji. What was he doing here? He lay curled up in a ball, eyes closed and breathing calmly. His face a picture of serenity, the expression 'sleeping like a baby' given life.

Out of the corner of her eyes she could see darkness creeping in. With it came a cloak of loneliness, a heavy blanket of emptiness. Tendrils of darkness slithered out and attempted to snuff the light, shadowy hands reaching forward, fingers outstretched in preparation to grab and crush.

Just as the fingers enclosed him, tightening around his figure, he shined brighter than before, flaring up like a firework launched into the night sky, burning the hand away. The newfound light enveloped the darkness, illuminating the shadows and lighting up the world.

The flare lasted only a moment, but when it receded, the darkness that returned felt not so lonely nor empty anymore. The cloak felt more warm and peaceful, the blanket more comforting and soothing.

It was there, on the edge of darkness, staring at the only light in her dream, she realized who Shinji was to her.

Shinji's Girl shook the sleepiness from her eyes and woke up in love.

...

There was darkness. Darkness everywhere, dark like a stormy night in which so many horror stories find themselves so fondly being set in.

This darkness was nothing new to Shinji. It wouldn't have been new to anyone. It was the darkness of sleep, only jagged and cold like a knife of ice. Shinji fumbled around the darkness, looking around in an attempt to determine where he was. Taking slow, hesitant steps, he ambled his way in some direction until he touched upon a wall.

Lost in darkness, with only a single concrete sense of direction, he began to look around. His head turned in all directions until his eyes saw light, faint and struggling to reach him, but light nonetheless. The light, he realized, was coming from above. Further surveying the skyline he could make out an opposite side to the wall he was feeling. It looked as if he was in a deep hole in the ground, a ravine as one might say.

Desperately, he reached toward the light, but the ground refused to let him go. Discouraged, he sat down with a pressing sense of failure. He most likely would have sat there for eternity, a length of time unexperiencable by humans unless in dream, when time never passes and slips away at the same time. Then there was a sound. It started quiet, too quiet that he couldn't consciously hear it, but his subconscious subtly registered it, and grew louder as the seconds passed. Then he heard it.

Laughter, Asuka's, loud and clear, ringing through the hollow ravine, sending waves of warmth through his body. It was sweet like her smile, electrifying like her touch. He wanted to follow the sound, to find the source, but was grounded, in darkness, stuck below like a caged bird.

Her laughter called to him once more, and he could not resist even if he wanted to, and neither could the forces pulling him back. Reaching out, as if to grab the sound and cup it in his hands, gravity gave away and away he went, soaring, skybound towards Asuka and the sound of her.

He drew closer and closer to her, the darkness passing behind him until it was a speck in the background, until he reached her.

There she was, running and laughing on a football field. Shinji touched down to the earth and started running. Asuka saw him and slowed her pace with a smile. She stuck out her hand for him to grab, and Shinji ran faster to reach her. Each step was a leap and each breath came a cry of joy. The distance was both infinite and short and Shinji was next to her in an instant and further away than he could reach in a lifetime. He grasped at her hand, their fingers brushing and then light enveloped him.

Shinji opened his eyes and woke up realizing what he needed to do.

 _I made a fumblin' play for your heart_  
_And the act struck a spark_

Asuka sat up on her bed and contemplated her next actions. Little thoughts flew around her mind like birds in a flock. One little bird seemed to fly higher and more distinctly than the rest, bringing with it the clarity that Asuka needed. She shifted her legs to the edge of the bed and stood up. She stared at her bedroom's wall, the wall whose other side stood in Shinji's room. Setting the thought aside, she turned and strode to the door, turning the handle and stepping out to the hallway.

Three steps out of her room, Shinji's door was opened and he stepped out, their eyes meeting and bodies stopping in place.

...

Shinji sat up on his bed and with his mind filled to the brim with ideas. He had to act now. The memory of the dream gave him courage and confidence, a burning determination that he couldn't let lay still for too long lest it cool and freeze. He needed to do it now, before he lost the spark, it didn't matter what he did or how he did it, but something needed to be done. He needed to say something, to convey something or Asuka would slip from his grasp forever.

He sat up, movements quick and full of purpose. Getting out of bed, he took meaningful steps towards his door, opening and stepping into the hall, preparing dozens upon dozens of scenarios of what he would say and how Asuka would react. He wasn't even fully out of the doorway when he saw Asuka coming towards him. He met her eyes and froze, physically and mentally.

Asuka recovered far faster than he ever could in all possible scenarios in the situation. She took steps toward him, each one deliberate and slow, a bell toll that could have signified a funeral or a wedding. Before he knew it, she was next to him with an undecipherable look on her face. Shinji unwound his tongue finally and tried to say something, say anything because here she was before him, in all her angelic glory and he needed to speak lest he hold his silence forever.

"Asuka I- I, no Asuka, I wanted to tell you something."

She tilted her head slightly, waiting for him to speak further.

"I've been thinking about what I said to you that night Asuka. The thing is, Asuka, I- I love you, I really do, not for your body like you think, but it's real love, and I know you probably don't believe, but what I'm saying is sincere and I'm going to prove it to you and like I said last night I'm not running away anymore and I'm going to stand by you and never leave your side and I'll show you that I really do love you and-"

She silenced him by putting a finger up to his lips, and it wasn't her middle digit.

"Shh."

She took her finger away from his mouth and reached down for his hand. Each of her fingers intertwined with one his as he stared his silent shock. Asuka turned and led him down the hall and into her room, gently shutting the door behind him. There were no more words for the rest of the morning, nor were there any sounds for the more perverted among us.

What was there, that quiet morning, was sense of understanding and the sprouted seeds of new love. Seeds that were planted at first sight and seeds that had finally grown upwards, exiting the earth and reaching for the sky, seeds vegetated in the spring of young love.

Then Misato woke up and made a big ol' racket and forced the two to experience the 'talk' again, complete with a banana and a condom from her drawer for emphasis and additional embarrassment.

 _You wore a charm on a chain that I stole  
_ _Especially for you_

It was a pretty stone, Asuka thought. Fire-red like her hair, it glittered in the sun, individual photons reflecting off the surface creating twinkles that could be compared to the sparkles on ocean water during dusk. The pendant had been a gift to her from yours truly, the Third Child. Leave it to Shinji to be the romantic one, with lavish displays of affection, or at least as lavish as a teenage boy can get. Of course, she wouldn't be caught dead wearing it by anyone other than Shinji, so she kept it in a locked box in her room, until Shinji began to give her the puppy dog eyes because he was crushed that she didn't wear his gift.

She called him a baka and began to secretly wear it under her shirt. She never directly mentioned it to Shinji, but he had probably seen the chain hanging on her neck or perhaps the outline of the gemstone through her shirt because he hadn't brought up the topic since. Most likely not the latter, she mused, Shinji was too whipped to ever think of looking at her chest, where the pendant would rest. Or maybe not, since this was hentai Shinji she was thinking about after all.

Their relationship wasn't entirely public knowledge yet, but the more observant of their peers might have noticed the small signs, which is to say no one because teenagers have the observant power of a mole rat on adderall. The exception being the albino barbie doll. She had most certainly noticed things, but she had yet to say anything because she had the social prowess of an small child at OPEC's 2018 convention in Houston to discuss the details and effects of shale oil, which was perfectly fine with Asuka.

It wasn't to say that Asuka didn't show any signs of affection to Shinji, if she didn't then they might as well have reverted to their post-Arael relationship. They would hold hands on the way to school, Asuka letting go when the building was in sight, and if she was in a particularly good mood Shinji might get a kiss. She might meet his eyes for longer than necessary as a way of reminding him that he was hers and vice versa and to stop staring at Wondergirl, baka, there's only room for one girl in your life and that's me.

Life was good for Shinji Ikari and Asuka Langley Sorhyu.

...

**Epilogue:**

_Love's such a delicate thing that we do,_  
_With nothing to prove  
_ _Which I never knew_

Asuka couldn't sleep. This was unusual, because ever since she had started sharing a bed with Shinji, sleep came to her like the Cupid came to the hopeless in love. She simply lay on the bed, not too hot for sleep nor too uncomfortable. She simply couldn't sleep, just like a fish simply couldn't fly or Congress simply couldn't pass a bill in any reasonable amount of time.

She turned her head sideways to look at the time and was struck with an even greater feeling that she should be asleep or risk being tired in the morning, but her body continued to stave off the comforting grasp of Morpheus.

She turned her head the other way to look at Shinji, who was sleepy like the baby baka he was, a babka she thought.

But even so, on the precipice of repose, knowing that she needed to leave the physical and journey to the metaphysical one, she almost felt reluctant, like she wanted to lay awake some more and watch Shinji.

Moonlight shone into the room from a single window, illuminating the room and allowing Asuka to notice every little detail on Shinji's face as he slept. The little scab on his nose from when she kicked him for walking in on her when she was fresh out of the shower, the little parting of his hair in the middle of his face, all the little details only a lover would see.

She watched as his chest rose and fell with each passing breath, struck by an odd contentedness that she couldn't describe.

_Is this love?_

She still lacked an answer, but lying there with Shinji was like the first step in a journey of a thousand miles, a start to a lifelong adventure filled with friends and family, a quest of odyssey proportions lasting decades. But somehow, at the dawn of a great sojourn Asuka felt not a single trace of apprehension, only a sense of joy that it was Shinji who would accompany her on this peregrination to discover love.

_It just might be._

And Asuka Langley Sorhyu fell asleep in the arms of Shinji Ikari, dreaming of love and the future.

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to AngelNo13Bardiel for previewing the story. You can find her and her works both here and on ff.net.


End file.
